How to communicate better with charisma

Habitomic Journalist
Habitomic Journalist

 Charisma is the quality of being able to attract, charm, and influence those around you. charisma is the result of excellent communication and interpersonal skills. It is therefore possible to develop and improve your charisma.

Charisma is a personal quality, evident in the way an individual communicates to others, that makes someone more influential. This power to attract attention and influence people can be embodied in the way someone speaks, what someone says, and how someone looks when communicating.

A variety of factors can make a person charismatic. They include but are not limited to: confidence, exuberance, optimism, expressive body language, and a passionate voice. People with charisma are often enthusiastic and speak with assertiveness.

Being charismatic draws people to you like a magnet – people who are willing to support you in your endeavors and believe in what you stand for. It  helps you get what you want from situations while still being the nice guy, so it’s a vital character trait to develop – a kind of basic life skill.

It helps you to develop sustainable relationships, because when you’re charismatic, people feel you understand them. This leads to them being happy to work with and help you as much as possible.

There is also the advantage that having better relationships makes us happier in ourselves. When we celebrate our uniqueness and become more comfortable in different situations, we’re more likely to fulfill our potential and be confident wherever we are.

Charisma is extremely important in business. When you are going for an interview for a new job or stepping up the ladder in your organization – your behavior makes you stand apart from others.

Charismatic people have higher productivity rankings. They lead people without taking credit for themselves. They enjoy their work more and so rank better in performance.

There are some points that you need to know about charisma.

· Don’t force it

So, being charismatic isn’t about forcing yourself on anyone, it’s about understanding where other people are at and then adapting what you say, and how you say it, to what’s important to them. Of course, you might not always be able to give the other person exactly what they want, but at the very least you can show interest and understanding. The benefit to you is that when you have stronger relationships with people, you’ll be working in a supportive environment that’s increasingly amenable to your needs.

· Your charisma, your way

True charisma is also based on being authentic. We’re all individuals, with our personalities and ways of doing things; there’s certainly no cookie-cutter model of a charismatic person to follow. If you’re wondering how you could ever have charisma and still ‘be yourself’ you do not need to worry. Every persuasive and influential person has a way of creating a charismatic aura.

· Being Perfect

Striving for perfectionism has the knock-on effect of creating what’s called a fixed mindset in ourselves. In this, we get so caught up with appearing to be perfect that we avoid situations that might set us back or cause us to ‘fail’. This limits our life opportunities. Alternatively, if we can get up the courage to try something new that might not work, we achieve more personal growth and other people get to connect with us. This helps us to develop our brand of charisma – one that’s based on who we are.

How we show charisma

There are many facets to charisma, and we can break them down into four main types:

  • Authority
  • Focus
  • Kindness
  • Visionary

Authority charisma

Authority is the type of charisma in which we show gravitas. Someone with an authority-based charisma effectively says, ‘I know what I’m doing, and your hopes and needs are safe with me.’

Relying on authority charisma alone, although effective in the short term, can be quite dangerous in the long run; there’s a risk that a business or political system can become personality-driven, with other people becoming disempowered as a result.

So, authority charisma can get you so far but needs to be balanced out with the other types which follow.

Focus charisma

You know when you meet someone and they make you feel like you’re the only person in the room? That’s focus charisma.

The problem is, we tend to rush around with our minds turned inwards, which means we’re not fully focused on the person we’re with. So often we go for the most direct route to getting what we want, which is to try to alter someone else’s perception of us rather than to focus on giving them what they want.

Kindness charisma

This type of charisma isn’t about being nice in the wishy-washy sense, nor does it involve being a doormat. It’s about exuding an aura of warmth and compassion. People with kindness charisma are likable in the most powerful sense of the word, in that they make the person they’re with feel safe and taken care of.

Visionary charisma

We all need ideas to feel inspired, and people with visionary charisma derive their attraction from the distinctiveness and bravery of the ideas and beliefs they espouse.

People with visionary charisma are not necessarily extroverts but those who create their aura by stepping away from the crowd.

Charisma is a science and it can be learned through various tools through a systematic and methodical application. Becoming charismatic is exceptionally rewarding. In terms of how you associate with yourself and how others are associating with you.

It involves how you manage your emotional states, how you address your needs, knowing which behavior projects you as a charismatic being to others, and present yourself accordingly.


Here are some characteristics that can make you charismatic and create personal magnetism.

  1. They are extremely good listeners and pay close attention to what someone is saying to them. Rarely do they interrupt, and they never lecture.
  2. They are always cheerful and often smile whilst speaking to others. There are authentic in their cheerfulness and enthusiasm and rarely display ‘moody’ behavior.
  3. They are confident and their speech, tone, body language, mannerisms are all aligned to showcase their confidence.
  4. They speak deliberately and confidently with a passionate, disciplined, and friendly voice. They do not over-communicate and neither do they lecture; their words are measured.
  5. They develop a positive mental attitude and are optimistic, but they never let over-optimism nudge away reality. They are keen to make adjustments that will lead to long-term success.
  6. They are always willing to help other people and often believe in doing ‘good deeds’ without expecting anything in return.
  7. They recognize, reward, shower praise, and applaud achievements sincerely and never excessively or automatically or to show-off.
  8. They have an open mind and they are receptive to ideas and suggestions – they value the opinion of subject matter experts.
  9. They are genuinely interested in the people they are interacting with and pay complete attention, looking the person in the eye. They believe conversations are a chance to know more about the other person.
  10. They know how to hold their tongue and speak only when required and in a concise manner. They are also aware that not everything they think or have an opinion about needs to be communicated.

Charisma is a broad term and several traits that help contribute to defining someone as charismatic. Three of the most common sources of a person’s charisma are confidence, presence, and amiability.


Confidence allows a charismatic person to accurately assess the areas they excel in and to convey that knowledge to others through body language and speech patterns. A confident person generates charisma by representing the best version of themselves to others.


Presence is the trait that allows a charismatic person to give someone else their complete attention and make them feel like they are being fully heard and understood. A present person’s charisma comes from ensuring that the people they talk with always feel important to the conversation.


Amiability is what enables someone to feel relatable and friendly. This trait naturally inspires others to trust them and enjoy being around them—which is how an amiable person generates their charisma.

9 steps for improving your charisma

Everyone has experienced a time when you feel master of the situation. When you feel totally in control of yourself and confidence is at its peak. People are impressed by you. You feel charged up and elated. This is your charisma.

Generally, people don’t see themselves as charismatic person in this situation. Because they believe that charismatic people hold magnetism all-time in a day. Which is not true.

So, try these techniques to build confidence, presence, and amiability to become more charismatic:

1. Manage your nerves

The biggest obstacle for most people looking to develop their natural confidence is overcoming their nerves. Anxiety and nervousness are normal feelings when talking with people you aren’t familiar with, especially if you don’t do it often. To reduce the amount of anxiety you experience, you can try acting out your conversations in advance and become familiar with the process of talking to new people by conversing with people you encounter in your daily life.

2. Pace your speech

When you’re excited or nervous about something, it’s not uncommon for your speech patterns to fluctuate. Practicing the pacing of your speech by timing yourself and actively working to speak at a consistent rate can help you develop a more confident and controlled tone in your voice when speaking with others.

3. Talk about what you’re passionate about

When you’re speaking with someone you don’t know very well, the easiest way to help you build up confidence is to begin talking about things you’re passionate about. Doing this will help you detach from the situation you’re in and it will shift your attention away from the fact that you’re speaking with someone you’re unfamiliar with.

4. Listen with intent

When speaking with others, try to make a habit of listening to them with focus. Practicing active, intentional listening to your conversation partner will help reinforce that you value their time. Doing this will also naturally help you better understand your conversation partner’s perspective on the things they’re talking about.

5. Practice eye contact

Making eye contact while you’re having conversations demonstrates to your conversation partner that you’re invested in what they have to say and that they aren’t competing for your attention.

6. Ask clarifying questions

When having a conversation with someone who is an expert in a topic, asking multiple questions to clarify what’s being communicated to you shows the person you’re talking to that you are actively involved in the conversation and that you’re working with them to help the conversation progress easily.

7. Demonstrate a genuine interest

Using body language, facial expressions, and direct language to demonstrate excitement and interest in the topic you’re discussing helps your conversation partner feel more involved in your interaction. By practicing active listening and keeping yourself engaged, the person you are speaking with will usually feel more valued.

8. Remember little details

When you speak with other people, try and make a conscious effort to commit to memory the little details they share with you. Bringing these details up in later conversations will make the other person feel valued and heard and encourage them to be more open with you. Keeping these details in mind will help provide you with conversation starters with people in the future.

9. Keep things positive

When conversing with others, try to keep things as positive as you can for the duration of your interaction with them. You will frame yourself as a positive and helpful individual to the people you talk with.

To conclude, by learning and applying tools for charisma you will experience increased magnetism for yourself. If it is already in you, then you will get more control over the power of charisma. You will become more influential, more persuasive, and more inspiring.