The conversation is an essential social skill, but did you know that it can also be considered an art?
The art of conversation is about going beyond good communication, and getting to the level of mastery. Mastering the art of conversation means that not only are you good at achieving your goals through talking but also become noticeably pleasant to talk to. You can get so good at it that people explicitly tell you that they’ve had a great time talking to you. You start to get that comment consistently.
When it comes to the art of conversation we’ve all met people who seem to have the knack for it. They can talk to anybody about anything and they seem to do it with complete ease. And while it’s true that some are born with the gift of gab, luckily for the rest of us, conversation skills can be developed and mastered.
Communication is the process by which we exchange information between individuals or groups of people. It is a process where we try as clearly and accurately as we can, to convey our thoughts, intentions, and objectives. Communication is successful only when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information.
Without effective communication, a message can turn into error, misunderstanding, frustration, or even disaster by being misinterpreted or poorly delivered.
Now that you understood the importance of conversation and its effects, care about these tips to acquire good communication skills:
1. Know what you want to say and why.
Understand clearly the purpose and intent of your message. Know to whom you are communicating and why. Consider any barriers you may encounter such as cultural differences or situational circumstances (gender, age, or economic biases). Ask yourself what outcome you want to achieve and the impression you want to leave.
2. How will you say it?
We’re all aware by now, that it’s not always what you say, but how you say it that counts. Begin by making eye contact. You inspire trust and confidence when you look a person in the eyes when you speak.
Second, be aware of your body language since it can say as much, or more, than your words. By standing with arms easily at your side you tell others that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say.
If instead, your arms are crossed and shoulders hunched, it suggests disinterest or unwillingness communicate. Good posture and an approachable stance help make even difficult communication flow more smoothly. Make sure you speak in a cooperative, non-adversarial tone. Be nonjudgmental.
3. Listen.
Communication is a two-way street. After you’ve said what you have to say, stop, listen, and look for feedback and clues of comprehension.
While the person is responding, avoid any impulses to cut them off or listen only for the end of the sentence so that you can blurt out more ideas or thoughts that come to your mind. Respectfully give them your full attention.
When they are finished, to ensure that your message has been clearly and correctly understood, ask open questions and encourage discussion. Fine-tune your message, if necessary.
4. Reach understanding, agreement, or consensus.
Once you have had the opportunity to discuss your message and the feedback to it, re-visit the purpose of the interchange. Have you reached common ground, solved a problem, or clarified your position?
If the purpose was to teach or instruct, have you accomplished your goal? To communicate well is to understand and be understood. Make sure that your message has been received as intended and that any questions or concerns have been alleviated.
You can even agree to disagree. There are no guarantees that your communication efforts will be met with total compliance and agreement. As long as you understand each other, are cordial and respectful, you can still have a successful exchange.
Expand your vocabulary. To acquire better command of the English language (or any other language), expand your vocabulary by reading and writing more. Look up words you’re not familiar with. The better you can express yourself, the better your ability to communicate.
5. Be open-minded.
Learn to understand and appreciate opposing points of view by being open-minded and making an effort to see things from another’s perspective. In doing so, you will achieve greater cooperation, understanding, and respect.
6.Stay calm and relaxed.
Avoid trying to communicate when in an emotional state. You lose objectivity and may say something inappropriate or regrettable. Take time to think your position through before speaking.
7. Show interest and be curious.
People who are genuinely interested in others are usually interesting themselves. Because they are more open to learning about and understanding new things. Showing interest also encourages the other person to be relaxed and share information more freely. Display attentiveness by keeping good eye contact and listening actively.
If you happen to be shy and need time to warm up before you share your views, you can ask open-ended questions or encourage the other person to elaborate on their insights. This kick-starts the conversation and before you know it you are engaged in a good conversational flow.
8.Ensure there is a balance of giving and taking.
A conversation can get boring quickly if one person is doing all the talking while the other is trying to get a word in edgewise. When that happens whoever is not talking begins to tune out and there is no conversation!
There can be many reasons for a lack of giving and taking. Sometimes nervousness can get in the way and you ramble on without realizing it. Or, nervousness can make you freeze and you don’t know what to say next.
If you find yourself freezing up, take a deep breath and do your best to focus; smile, and then reflect on what you want to say. If the other person is the rambler and you’ve tried several times to interject but haven’t been able to, then excuse yourself politely and move on.
Determine whether your tendency to dominate a conversation is due to nervousness or self-involvement.
9. To improve, practice, and then practice some more.
The art of conversation, like any skill, takes practice. Do not expect to be adept after your first few attempts. It will take practice as well as exposure to many different social situations. A good way to get practice before you venture out to an event is with family members and people you are comfortable with. They can give you helpful and supportive feedback, which in turn, gives you something to work on. You can never have too much practice!
Possessing the art of conversation improves personal, social, and work relationships. It allows you to meet interesting new people and introduces you to various new topics and subject matter. With practice and application, anyone can improve their conversation skills.
10. Be Intentionally Appropriate
When people socialize, they want to be less formal and more personal and even let their hair down when possible. Even in professional networking events, people strive to make personal friends and be more themselves.
So the lesson here is not to be too formal when socializing. That’s the basic idea. But again, you’re here to learn about the art of conversation and get to the advanced techniques.
The advanced tip here is to be less formal, but be formal, appropriate, and polite when you need to be.
From time to time, you show through how you talk, that you can be formal and appropriate. You show that there is that side of you, and you can use it whenever you want.
The effect of this subtle move is that it shows your friends and friends of friends that they can rely on you, socially. They realize that you know how to carry yourself appropriately in situations where that’s necessary.
It’s great to be personal, jovial, fun, and even goofy. That’s what people want, they want to let their guard down and have fun with friends.
11. Give Sneak Peaks of Your Interests
When meeting someone new, a person with average conversation skills sticks to talking about just a handful of conversation topics. This gives the impression that they are a limited person. It seems as if they are limited in what they can discuss.
This is not something you want to happen to you. You don’t want people to wonder what you could ever talk about if you were to meet again. This often happens even to people who are genuinely interesting and can discuss a variety of topics.
But the first impression they give, of only talking about a handful of things, makes them seem limited and even boring.
To avoid this, make sure you go over as many of the topics you love as you can. All topics are related to one another. And you need to find opportunities to give a wide image of all the things you’re particularly interested in.
It gives a wide image of who you are. And people assume that there is so much they can talk about with you.
12. The Art Of Conversation Can Be Rehearsed!
If you go out to meet new people and see some of those very skilled people in conversation, they can be impressive. It seems that everything they say is on-point. They seem to tell stories very well and make their points brilliantly.
What you might not know is that most of those things you hear them say, they’ve already said them to others before. They’ve had a few tries at them and now can say them almost perfectly.
In other words, they get to rehearse all those stories, expressions, and arguments.
You might want to take a page from their book here. If you’d like to master this art of conversation, realize that it’s okay to be prepared and even rehearsed.
Try and rehearse telling your favorite stories and expressing your favorite ideas and opinions. Have fun with it.
Even better, whenever you stumble upon a new idea or story, quickly imagine how you can tell it to others. Rehearse in your mind how you can say it in a way that will allow others to enjoy it as much as you do.
What you have to realize is that your brain organizes ideas in a way that is different from the way you should express those ideas clearly. In a way, you need to translate from” the idea in your mind” to” the idea, well said and shared.”
In summary, a conversation is a form of communication; however, it is usually more spontaneous and less formal. We enter conversations for purposes of pleasant engagement to meet new people, to find out information, and to enjoy social interactions. As far as types of conversation, they vary anywhere from intellectual conversations and information exchanges to friendly debate and witty banter.
To master conversation, you need to be more ambitious than the average person. It’s good to be merely good at conversation. But you can do much more than that.
You can access a level of skill, and art, that makes you stand out especially. People who meet you will instantly put you in a higher category.
They quickly realize that you’re one of those they want around. This is especially the case if they are great at conversation and social skills too.