Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support your physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Also, it means not settling for less than you deserve.
Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.
For starters, it can mean talking to and about yourself with love, prioritizing yourself, giving yourself a break from self-judgment, trusting yourself, being true to yourself, being nice to yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself.
For many people, self-love is another way to say self-care. To practice self-care, we often need to go back to the basics and listen to our bodies, take breaks from work and move/stretch, put the phone down and connect to yourself or others, or do something creative, eat healthily, but sometimes indulge in your favorite foods.
Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being first.
It’s worth noting that sometimes we do things in the name of self-love but may hurt ourselves in the long run. So what is NOT self-love?
- Arrogance. Just because you love yourself doesn’t mean you should diminish the value of others.
- Selfishness. You can prioritize your needs but at the same time consider others.
- Overindulgence. While an ice cream or two doesn’t hurt, letting your desires or cravings get the best of you is irresponsible to yourself.
Self-love is really important and should come first because of 2 reasons:
1. The way you love yourself defines how you want to be treated in a relationship:
By taking care of yourself and appreciating yourself, you project an image of an independent character in a relationship. When you don’t need external affirmations to assure your value, you set the standard. You will not be afraid of being left alone because you know you deserve the best.
2. Loving yourself enables you to love others in a better way:
By loving yourself, you eliminate the unnecessary jealousy, insecurity, and anger from your relationship.
Because you have learned how to appreciate yourself, you are more capable of appreciating others as well. You know how to be the best version of yourself and that helps to bring out the attractiveness and charism within you.
Aside from its influences on intimate relationships, self-love can benefit us in various aspects of life. It might be the best investment because a little effort every day can result in a huge improvement in our holistic health.
Here are 5 instant benefits that come with self-love:
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Less Stress and Anxiety
When we love ourselves, we are less likely to be trapped in self-denial because of the current situation or minor failures. It removes the fear of being rejected and thus helps reduce stress and anxiety.
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Higher Level of Satisfaction
Practicing self-love regularly not only strengthens our self-appreciation but also helps us to see the world in another way. We are more likely to enjoy real happiness in life such as love from our family, personal achievement, or acts of kindness. At the same time, pure pleasure will have less control over our minds. So for people with addictions, cultivating self-love would be essential.
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A Boost in Attractiveness
Confidence is probably the first change we will see when we start to appreciate ourselves. It helps to remove the mental blockage of communicating with others as well as expressing ourselves.
According to the Law of Attraction, when we are more confident and believe in our beauty, we will more likely to attract positivity and the love we want.
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Stronger Motivation
Have you ever felt lacking the energy to hit the gym or go to work as you were supposed to? Don’t criticize yourself for being lazy. Chances are you are under-motivated. Maybe you are not clear about your goal. Maybe you feel impossible to reach it or maybe you are just tired.
With a high level of self-awareness, you are more aware of the “low battery” signals. And it gives us a chance to recharge before burning out.
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Health and Personal Growth
Self-growth is the best thing that happens on the trail of self-love. When you value yourself and care about your happiness and well-being, you are less likely to allow toxic relationships or bad habits to stay in your way.
Keeping a healthy diet, learning a new language, playing music and even the tiniest good can fill your life with content and enlightenment.
Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being, and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines. So, here are some ways to practice self-love:
1. Becoming mindful.
People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
The mindfulness exercises that one can do to develop self-compassion are various. One simple exercise involves repeating the following three phrases during times of emotional distress:
“This is a moment of suffering,” “Suffering is a part of life,” and “May I be kind to myself.”
2. Taking actions based on need rather than want.
By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
3. Practicing good self-care.
You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.
4. Making room for healthy habits.
Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about yourself.
5. Learning to listen to yourself
Listening to yourself can mean two things. Firstly, paying attention to how you internally talk to yourself is crucial for learning to cultivate an intimate feeling of self-love.
A second reason why listening to yourself is important is that, during times of emotional distress, asking yourself the question “What do I need?” — and listening mindfully to the answer — can prove invaluable.
6. Yoga and relearning pleasure
Mindfulness can help us to relearn, as adults, to take pleasure in fundamental, everyday things that we used to enjoy spontaneously as children. Reacquainting ourselves with pleasure in this way is an essential component of self-kindness.
Researchers used practices such as the “Sense and Savor Walk” and “Mindful Eating” — aimed at taking pleasure in the environment and food, respectively — to increase self-compassion in study participants.
Perhaps because yoga can help us to get back in touch with our bodies and regain a sense of pleasure from it, the practice also helps to quell the voice of our inner critic and boost feelings of self-love.
7. Don’t believe everything you think.
There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.
8. Stop the comparisons.
There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
9. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.
It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
10. Start each day by telling yourself something really positive.
How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile.
11. Realize that beauty cannot be defined.
It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those photo-shopped magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life.
12. Treat others with love and respect.
It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem, not yours.
13. Find something to be grateful for every day.
You are inevitably going to have your down days. This is fine and very human of you. It’s especially important on these days to find at least one thing you are grateful for as it helps to shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.
14. Forgive yourself.
You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.
15. Let go of past trauma and wounds.
This can be a really tough one and it may be one of those times you need to turn to others for support. The truth is though when we let go of things that have happened to us it’s almost like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.
16. Get in touch with your inner dialogue.
If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging, and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
17. Be patient but persistent.
Self-love is ever-evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.
Also, these are some more tips to love yourself:
Unfollow social accounts that set unrealistic expectations, ask for help when you need to, stop requiring yourself to meet the social standards of beauty and success, find a passion or pursue a hobby, develop a good morning routine to start the day off strong, exercise regularly to feel good, not just to look good, evaluate your finance, figure out your current net worth and make a savings plan accordingly, and spend some time on self-care every day.
Briefly, self-love is loving yourself whole-heartedly and objectively, which means, knowing your strength and weaknesses, validating your emotions and valuing mental health, embracing your imperfections, prioritizing your needs, patience with your personal growth, forgiving, and learning from your past mistakes.
You can use the tips to cultivate self-love in your life that were mentioned in this article and use the Habitomic app to help you make self-love a habit in your life.