To get the most out of the information we are presented with, we have to make sure we are always listening and not just hearing. Many employees just want to feel heard, but most importantly understood — which requires active listening.
There are many differences between hearing and listening. Hearing is the act of perceiving and receiving sound; it’s the use of one of your senses. Listening, on the other hand, is the act of hearing a sound and understanding what you hear. Hearing is easy! You cannot control what your ears catch. And employees may feel undervalued and frustrated if every time they are talking to someone, their words don’t seem to resonate with the receiver. This may also leave them feeling ignored.
Listening is harder. Effective listening requires you to control what your mind focuses on and responds to. When you are listening, you are consciously choosing what you want to hear. You process all information presented to you and you can make a conscious decision that you can support. Listening is a choice. Listening requires the willingness to focus and the act of providing your full attention.
If you are multi-tasking, can only remember the main idea but cannot remember details of the conversation, all of your responses are neutral, are contributing one-word responses or not responding at all, and if you leave the conversation with the same information you started with you probably aren’t listening.
Why is listening one of the most valuable skills to cultivate?
- Listening increases productivity.
- Students who are good listeners learn more.
- Attentive listeners have better negotiating skills.
- Listening skills help you to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.
- People who are suffering find great comfort when someone truly listens to them.
- Relationships are stronger between people who genuinely listen to each other.
Those in positions of leadership are commonly pulled in several directions simultaneously, having multiple issues competing for their attention at the same time. As a result, those under the supervision of a distracted supervisor often feel like management doesn’t take their input seriously.
When those entrusted with leadership positions take the time to identify their listening habits, they have a better understanding of where they could benefit from improvement. Most listening falls into one of the following three categories:
- Combative or Competitive Listening
Combative listening is the listening style of those whose goal is to push their view or opinion. Rather than actively listening to the message of the person initiating communication, combative listeners are formulating a counterattack, waiting for opportunities to hijack the conversation and interject their view. Combative or competitive listeners are consistently analyzing discourse to identify flaws in their counterpart’s thought processes.
- Passive Attentive Listening
While the passive attentive listener may be interested in what a coworker is communicating; they are not to a point in the conversation where they are willing to commit to a response. It is the lack of response that causes those trying to initiate communication to feel they are not taken A person trying to communicate with a passive listener may feel the listener is uninterested in the conversation. They may also be left wondering if the intended message was correctly understood.
- Active Reflective Listening
In this type of listening, active reflective listening, the listener gives complete attention to the person relaying the message. The active reflective listener keeps their focus on the conversation, asks questions to clarify communication; and listens without casting judgment. Active Reflective listening is the type of listening that facilitates effective communication.
Listening is a leadership responsibility that does not appear in the job description. Those who do listen to their employees are in a much better position to lead the increasingly diverse and multi-generational workforce. The “one-approach-fits-all” way of thinking has become outdated and those who embrace the high art of listening are destined to be better, more compassionate leaders.
Here are some effective forms of listening that will help get you started:
1. Show That You Care
When you care about your employees, they tend to work harder and aim to exceed your expectations. Don’t just view your employees as tools and resources for your success – but as people and valuable assets who bring unique capabilities and aptitudes not necessarily limited to their job functions.
2. Engage Yourself
Beyond caring, engage yourself in matters important to your employees. When they share their opinions, ask questions and encourage them to elaborate and expand upon their perspectives. When you engage yourself more actively, hold yourself accountable and follow up with your employees, they will know that you are listening, paying attention, and attempting to understand what matters most to them.
3. Be Empathetic
The workplace is fueled by the stress and pressure of each day. Because every employee manages stress and pressure differently, you must be empathetic to how these distractors impact employee performance.
4. Don’t Judge Others
Leaders who judge others are not listening. Too many times leaders make harsh criticisms about those with a different style or approach. Instead of judging someone, they could be learning from them. They must be more active listeners, constantly learning and adapting to change.
5. Be Expansively Mindful
Great leaders are extremely mindful of their surroundings. They know how to actively listen beyond the obvious via both verbal and non-verbal communication. They acknowledge others via body language, facial expressions, and nods.
6. Don’t Interrupt
Compassionate leaders listen and don’t interrupt the flow of the dialogue. They embrace two-way communication and are aware that with every interruption comes disengagement. They earn respect from their peers by being a patient listener. Stay focused on what your employees are saying. Stay in the moment and be respectful of others. Listen and become a more compassionate leader.
7. Be Patient!
When your employees have finished talking, repeat the key points back to them to make sure you’ve understood their message correctly and to reinforce it yourself.
8. Avoid Misunderstandings
Ask your employee to clarify if you don’t understand what they’re trying to say and remain focused for the whole duration of the conversation.
To clarify the message, and assure the message is received as the sender intends requires confirmation between the sender and the receiver. In his recently published guide book Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead, Michael Hoppe of the Center for Creative Listening, breaks the active listening approach into six essential skills. Consider the following interpretation:
- Skill #1 Paying Attention – show respect to those you communicate with by setting a comfortable tone and allowing ample time for the other person to speak unhurriedly. Stay focused on the moment while paying attention to your frame of mind and body language.
- Skill #2 Withholding Judgment – as a leader, it’s important to remain open to new ideas. Strong leaders need to withhold criticism and judgment even when they have strong, strong views on the As an active listener, it is best to avoid arguing or any effort to support your perspective unless you are asked or given permission.
- Skill #3 Reflecting – it’s important not to assume that you correctly understand the information presented to you. Paraphrase key points back to the speaker so they can be assured that you hear them and understand. Reflecting indicates that you are both on the same page during your conversation.
- Skill #4 Clarifying – by asking open-ended, thoughtful, and probing questions, you are encouraging those you communicate with to expand on their ideas. Asking questions also invites reflection and thoughtful responses. Asking questions indicates you are actively listening.
- Skill #5 Summarizing – summarizing critical themes throughout the conversation confirms that you fully comprehend your counterparts’ point of view. Briefly summarize what you understand as you listen and ask the person you are speaking with to do the same. This strategy helps ensure you are both on the same page. At the end of your conversation, it is also recommended to summarize mutual responsibilities or an anticipated next step.
- Skill #6 Sharing – the purpose of active listening is about ensuring you understand the concerns of the person you are communicating with, but sharing is also about being understood. As you gain a clear understanding of their perspective, consider interjecting a similar experience or share an idea that was triggered by points made earlier in the conversation. Sharing common experiences builds trusting relationships.
Remember, listening skills enable a manager to understand the intentions and feelings of their team, an essential skill for team management. Your employees will be more open, positive, and motivated if they feel they are being heard and will strive to do their best for the team. The best managers don’t give orders; they are first of all excellent communicators, and effective communication starts with listening.