Self-development is defined as the process by which a person’s character or abilities are gradually developed. In a more general sense, it can be described as working hard to better ourselves through goal-setting and lifestyle changes, both internal and external.
How self-development can become toxic
When you are changing yourself to meet the standards of other people instead of how you want yourself to be, this will in the end cause you much more stress and pain.
This can also be applied to self-development because each person’s journey will be unique and each person will be trying to reach a certain goal based on who they are.
These are some negative aspects of self-development:
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Comparing yourself to others
Copying what other people are doing (habits, goals, lifestyle) even if that isn’t what you want to do, or just trying to be like everyone else instead of solely making your life better is self-sabotage.
When you are working so hard on self-development that it is stealing your joy, it will become toxic. You do not have to be put together or happy all of the time, and you should not force yourself to keep going before trying to address any problems and feel better.
Tip: You should only start working on self-development when you feel ready, not because you feel pressured to.
If you try to start before you are ready, it will be much harder to keep going because you will lack motivation.
A great practice is journaling because it can help you to collect your thoughts and analyze what you might be feeling or why you have certain reactions. Journaling can also help you to determine whether or not you are ready to work on yourself, or if you need to address other issues in your life first.
If you need help to do journaling, install the Habitomic app. The Metis can help you in this regard.
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Impatience
As you try to model those who live the life you desire and you begin building the mindset needed so you can get there too, all you can think about is already being there.
Visions of the finances, the body, the health, or the career you want may stir feelings of frustration.
You know where you want to be, and you probably have an idea of how to get there, but now the only thing that stands between you and your vision is time and action.
Tip: Focus on the process and do the steps needed to achieve your goals daily and understand the results that will follow.
They may not occur in your desired timeframe but do not be discouraged. Continue to take action, move forward, and embrace the process.
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Become consumed with learning
This is very common among those who are developing themselves.
Too often, people become way too focused on consuming and learning new information because it gives them joy, happiness, and that dopamine hit. After all, we feel as though we’re making progress.
And the problem is that knowledge itself is not power. It’s only potential power and part of the equation. It’s what you do with the information that is critical in achieving your goals.
In addition, as you continue to learn and grow, you may fall into the trap and this idea of perfection before starting your plan.
This is detrimental to anyone’s progress because you’re not taking action which is the most important thing to focus on to get any results.
Tip: Break down your goal into bite-sized chunks and create an action plan of daily tasks that produce an outcome that moves you towards your end goal.
But remember that the journey begins and continues with small steps over an extended time.
This doesn’t mean you should not continue to learn and grow simultaneously but you must focus on the action because it is the only thing that produces tangible results.
To sum up, these are some notes about the toxic and unhealthy sides of self-development that everyone may face in the trach of improving it. Just be aware of what to expect if you’re just starting on your personal growth. Good luck!